What Happens When You Don’t Know What to Talk About in Therapy?
Feeling unsure about what to talk about in therapy is a common fear—and a completely normal one. Many people worry they’ll show up to their session and draw a blank, leaving an awkward silence hanging in the room. The good news? A good therapist will never leave you stranded in that uncomfortable space.
Therapy Isn’t a Standoff
The old trope of the therapist sitting silently, waiting for you to speak first, is outdated and unhelpful. A skilled therapist knows how to guide you through those moments of uncertainty, helping you explore what’s bubbling beneath the surface. Whether you’re at a loss for words because of overwhelm, fear, or simply not knowing where to begin, a good therapist has tools to help you access what you need in the moment.
Tools to Access Your Inner World
In my practice, I use various techniques to help clients uncover their needs, emotions, and issues when they feel stuck. Some of these include:
Guided Meditations: These can help calm your mind and bring clarity to your emotions or inner struggles.
Mind/Body Mindfulness Exercises: By focusing on the connection between your body and emotions, we can often uncover insights that aren’t immediately obvious.
Focusing Exercises: These are designed to help you tune into the parts of yourself just beneath the surface—the parts that are quietly asking for attention and care.
Each of these techniques is a gentle way to connect with your subconscious or “higher self,” allowing the deeper work to emerge naturally.
Your Role in the Process
While a therapist can offer these tools, it’s ultimately up to you to engage with them. And yes, sometimes clients say no. Believe me, I’ve been told “no” before! The beauty of therapy is that even a “no” can be valuable. It’s an opportunity to explore resistance, discomfort, or hesitation—all of which are fertile ground for self-discovery.
What If Your Therapist Feels Disengaged?
If you find yourself feeling like your therapist is phoning it in, it might be time to reassess the relationship. Therapy is a dynamic process, and a good therapist should bring creativity, curiosity, and flexibility to your sessions. They should have “a few tricks up their sleeves” to help you access your needs, even on days when you’re not sure where to start.
Final Thoughts
Not knowing what to talk about in therapy doesn’t mean you’re failing or that therapy isn’t working. It’s just part of the process. A good therapist will guide you, offering tools and techniques to help you connect with the parts of yourself that need attention.
And remember: silence isn’t a sign of failure—it’s a doorway. Even when you feel stuck, your willingness to show up and engage is where the work begins.
So, the next time you feel unsure about what to say in therapy, trust the process. Your therapist should meet you halfway, ready to explore the unknown with you.